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Rils Great Tree Member
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Joined: 28 Dec 2005 Posts: 815 Location: Screw Ballard, I live in Edmonds now
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 5:49 pm Post subject: Episode Six - "Conversations with Laxman" |
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Ok, so I've got a draft of the script ready. I have two problems though -
1) I don't have a place online to upload the .doc, can I email it to someone to post?
2) Trimmed down and condensed as far as I can without removing significant chunks of the conversation, the thing is almost 15 pages long!
I remember at one point someone saying that we should try and keep scripts to about 10 pages. I've cut out most of the extraneous comments, but these were intense conversations and there is just way too much good material here! If someone can help me post it, I would much appreciate you all looking it over and seeing what we can remove. _________________
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Durin Mephit Great Tree Officer
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Joined: 29 Jan 2004 Posts: 3119 Location: Tigard, OR
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 6:27 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks to Rils, Episode 6 is now available for review. We do need to try to crunch it down if at all possible.
http://marten.treeweasel.com/Uru/Episode_6.doc _________________ Durin Mephit * Member of Guild of Messengers - Unless otherwise stated, opinions are mine only and not Guild endorsed.
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Rils Great Tree Member
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 6:43 pm Post subject: |
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Definetly need to edit it down. I'm just not sure what's important to keep and what's worth removing! It's already edited down to about half it's original length, any more and we start taking out good information. Thoughts? _________________
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Durin Mephit Great Tree Officer
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Joined: 29 Jan 2004 Posts: 3119 Location: Tigard, OR
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Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 2:01 am Post subject: |
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This episode script needs to be cut in half again, from 14 pages down to 7. Who feels up to the challenge?
Ground rules:
1. You can trim what people say, but don't change or reword it.
2. Please don't take one person's words and put them into the mouth of another.
3. Editing unintentional grammar/spelling (then/than, their/they're/there) is OK.
4. You may combine lines such as these, if it makes sense:
Original
Person A: Roses are red.
Person B: Yeah...
Person A: Violets are blue.
Person B: Mmmhm.
Merged
Person A: Roses are red. Violets are blue.
Person B: Yeah... Mmmhmm. _________________ Durin Mephit * Member of Guild of Messengers - Unless otherwise stated, opinions are mine only and not Guild endorsed.
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Durin Mephit Great Tree Officer
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Joined: 29 Jan 2004 Posts: 3119 Location: Tigard, OR
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 11:55 pm Post subject: |
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I'm trying to trim the episode. It's not easy! As Rils said: There's a lot of good information here.
I definitely want to cover this episode because, although some parts are tangental to the story, it will answer a lot of questions explorers have about The Great Zero.
Storywise, the negative attitude Victor has for the UO hood is classic ![Smile](images/smiles/icon_smile.gif) _________________ Durin Mephit * Member of Guild of Messengers - Unless otherwise stated, opinions are mine only and not Guild endorsed.
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Durin Mephit Great Tree Officer
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Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 1:46 am Post subject: |
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I've managed to trim the episode down to 11 pages. Also, sometimes I removed lines from Rils' version and added in other lines that had been removed, just to cut down on the number of unique persons with speaking parts in the episode - something which is vital to make filming manageable.
This version is still quite long. It is ready for translation... but I do not expect the translations to be done very quickly due to the length. Also, this time I'm not trying to modify the script after filming, so there is no need to hurry on the translations. If you need 2 or 3 weeks... that is fine.
http://marten.treeweasel.com/Uru/Episode_6_r2.doc
Filming for Episode 6 will take place on Saturday, August 4, beginning at 10AM Cavern Time (9 AM Pacific). All filming for this episode will take place in the Great Tree Bevin. Translators, if you translated my notice at the end of the Episode 5 announcement about participation in Episodes 6 and 7, you can let interested parties know when and where. It would help greatly if interested international persons have a basic understanding of English; I need participants to understand a very few instructions, like these:
* Stand exactly where I am standing
* Do not move from that spot until asked
* Walk up the steps and join the others
* Hold the TAB key for 3 seconds
PS: Thank you to all of the translators for the corrections submitted for revising Episodes 0 through 4. I am still working on incorporating all of your improvements. _________________ Durin Mephit * Member of Guild of Messengers - Unless otherwise stated, opinions are mine only and not Guild endorsed.
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Moiety Jean First Lady of the Great Tree
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Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 2:03 am Post subject: |
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::notes on calendar:: _________________ ~Moiety Jean
KI#44727
"There is a certain beautiful danger when a group of geeks get together to entertain themselves." ~Orin Drake |
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Annick Explorer
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Joined: 09 Jul 2007 Posts: 39 Location: FRANCE
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 5:50 am Post subject: |
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Hello
I have some problem with this line :
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Brian Fioca: The DRC will come around. The more of us there are to spread the message, the more they will listen. |
For : the DRC come around :
Does it mean : The DRC will come here or the DRC will change his opinion.
And this line :
Quote: | There are many new visitors today. We must speak with them. Get to them before the DRC |
For : Get to them before the DRC
Does it mean : contact them
Thanks for your help ![Wink](images/smiles/icon_wink.gif) _________________ Le bonheur fuit celui qui le cherche |
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janaba1 Great Tree Member
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 9:50 am Post subject: |
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Marten wrote: | Translators, if you translated my notice at the end of the Episode 5 announcement about participation in Episodes 6 and 7,
you can let interested parties know when and where | Done ![Mr. Green](images/smiles/icon_mrgreen.gif) |
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Rils Great Tree Member
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 12:00 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks for doing the translation Annick! let me see if I can help...
Annick wrote: | I have some problem with this line :
Quote: |
Brian Fioca: The DRC will come around. The more of us there are to spread the message, the more they will listen. |
For : the DRC come around :
Does it mean : The DRC will come here or the DRC will change his opinion. |
It's more the sense of the latter - the DRC will change its opinion. The context is that the DRC thinks one way now, but through persuasion or circumstance, they will "come around to" or "align with" our way of thinking.
Quote: | And this line :
Quote: | There are many new visitors today. We must speak with them. Get to them before the DRC |
For : Get to them before the DRC
Does it mean : contact them |
Yes. "we must speak with them" is connected to "get to them". We need to speak to the new explorers before the DRC speaks to them; we need to talk to the them first so the DRC doesn't give them false information. Find the new explorers before the DRC finds them.
Hope that helps! _________________
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Durin Mephit Great Tree Officer
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 12:04 pm Post subject: |
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Shorah, Annick. Good questions.
Annick wrote: | For : the DRC come around :
Does it mean : The DRC will come here or the DRC will change his opinion.
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In this context, it means that the DRC will change their opinion.
Quote: | For : Get to them before the DRC
Does it mean : contact them
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This is a difficult phrase to translate; literally it does mean "contact them" but there is an implied meaning to educate the new explorers (and try to win their support) before the DRC had any opportunity. Perhaps this was not fair, but nothing is fair in a propaganda war.
Edit I see Rils responded just before I did. ![Smile](images/smiles/icon_smile.gif) _________________ Durin Mephit * Member of Guild of Messengers - Unless otherwise stated, opinions are mine only and not Guild endorsed.
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Annick Explorer
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Joined: 09 Jul 2007 Posts: 39 Location: FRANCE
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 4:22 pm Post subject: |
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@Marten and Rils
Thank you very much ![Very Happy](images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif) _________________ Le bonheur fuit celui qui le cherche |
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Annick Explorer
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Joined: 09 Jul 2007 Posts: 39 Location: FRANCE
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 3:40 am Post subject: |
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Always me .
I have problems with a few lines :
"Least" with a capital letter
Quote: | I'm not much of a soul searcher, I'm afraid. Give me a wrench, some bottled lightning. That's all the philosophy I need. |
"some bottled lightning", what is it exactly ?
Quote: | The events of the next few days would show exactly how far the DRC was willing to go in quieting Phil’s message. |
Can you clarify the sense of "was willing to go in quieting Phil’s message"
Sorry for my questions
Thanks for your help ![Smile](images/smiles/icon_smile.gif) _________________ Le bonheur fuit celui qui le cherche |
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Cycreim Great Tree Officer
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 4:19 am Post subject: |
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My French is kind of rusty, so forgive my mistakes, but let's see if I can use some translated examples.
Least with a capital letter is another word for the Bahro in this case. I don't know how you would translate the Least in this way (le Moindre?). I think they're saying "Un cri de Bahro?"
Some bottled lightning.... I don't know how you would translate that. It's a bit of a strange idiom and I personally don't really get it... maybe someone else could clarify this one.
As for "The events of the next few days would show exactly how far the DRC was willing to go in quieting Phil’s message." I think it could be translated something like:
Les evenements des prochains jours démontreraient a quel point la DRC voudrait étteindre (bloquer?) le message de Phil. _________________ KI: 34353
Last edited by Cycreim on Fri Aug 03, 2007 4:20 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Erik Great Tree Member
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 4:20 am Post subject: |
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A Least cry ... that's a cry from a Bahro.
I'm not sure about the bottled lightning, perhaps it's a strong beer?
And about the last one...
I believe it means something like: "In the next days you could see what the DRC did to 'undermine' Phil's message". The DRC tried to stop people from talking about Phil.
Hope that helps.
EDIT: Cycreim beat me. ![Razz](images/smiles/icon_razz.gif) |
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