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Episode Eight - "Unrest in Ae'gura"
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Professor Askew
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 1:33 pm    Post subject: Episode Eight - "Unrest in Ae'gura" Reply with quote

Here's a sneak peak at the script for EPISODE EIGHT courtesy of our very own RILS! Thanks, man.

Rils, here are some of the changes I made in this draft. They were very minor which is why I didn't PM you first.

1) Did a little bit of reformatting to match the other scripts.

2) Deleted a couple of lines that didn't move the plot forward. I think one of them was someone asking how everyone liked the French Hood. Things like that.

3) I deleted one line where the person's written English was a little unclear.

That's pretty much it, I think. I like the way you want to open the film. In fact, I'd like to repeat some of those shots during Sharper's long speech on page four. Break away from him and show various groups in the City and Hood having discussions. Some wearing Yeesha's shirt and some not. Maybe some shots elsewhere that would make good background for what he's saying. This idea has not been added to the script at this point. I wanted it validated by the writing team. Hey, that's fun to say....the writing team.
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Saxy
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 1:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, already? You guys work FAST! Shocked
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Professor Askew
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 2:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, we skipped a couple. Embarassed
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Rils
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 3:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Professor Askew wrote:
Well, we skipped a couple. Embarassed


Yeah, I wanted to get my writing feet wet on an episode farther down the line, so that if it got botched we wouldn't get behind schedule... Confused

But cool, thanks for making those changes Prof! Looks good, I appreciate the help. Some thoughts -

re: French hood - I considered that too, but since they continue the line of thought with a reference "French scientists" in the next statement, I thought the context would be nice. Otherwise it's just kinda "French scientists? where did that come from?" But either way works for me, I'm fine with it taken out.

re: Sharper's monologue, I agree, some montage footage would be great. Some way to break that up will be necessary. Maybe among the montage a shot of Yeesha talking to an explorer in a yeesha shirt (gives the idea that people are starting to listen to her)?

re: the ending - it's kind of weak the way it is written, but that's exactly where the chatlog stops. I envision Watson cutting off the conversation and just walking away, while the explorers turn to look at eachother; one shakes his head, another just shrugs. Kind of leave it on an "uncomfortable with the DRC" note.

Anyways, we've got some time on this particular episode. If there are no objections I'll take a look at an earlier one that hasn't been done yet and try to pull something together...

~Rils
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Professor Askew
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 4:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, we can go either way on the French reference, Rils. We can put back the earlier reference or cut the French scientist reference. I'll post both versions in a bit so we can get some feedback.

I don't think we can show Yeesha talking to someone in a Yeesha shirt because Explorers don't get that shirt until after they've seen Yeesha for the "last time". But, I love the idea of showing an Explorer with Yeesha from the end of the Journey. That would be very cool.

We can revisit the ending.

And as far as other scripts...have at it!
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Rils
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 6:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Professor Askew wrote:
I don't think we can show Yeesha talking to someone in a Yeesha shirt because Explorers don't get that shirt until after they've seen Yeesha for the "last time". But, I love the idea of showing an Explorer with Yeesha from the end of the Journey. That would be very cool.


Good call, I hadn't thought about that.

Just out of curiousity, cuz I don't remember, was it a common thing for people to wear the yeesha shirts around the cavern? I never did just cuz (no offense) I never really liked them. How realistic is it to show lots of people wearing them?

~Rils please don't fire me...
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Professor Askew
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 6:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jetson!! Yooooooooou're fired!!!!!!!


Sharper was encouraging as many people as he could to wear Yeesha's gift. I wore it for a time. Others as well. How many we show wearing it is subject to a guess. As long as shirt wearers represent a minority, I think we'll be fine.
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Marten
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 6:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Emergency" footage of Dr. Watson filmed for his scene. I couldn't do a Rand avatar at the time though.
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Marten
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 2:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

SaveFile has tossed the script. Can we get a repost, or could I get a copy in my e-mail?

Thanks in advance.

Also, the main episode source list at http://www.thegreattree.com/bbs/viewtopic.php?p=9744#9744 has been updated (actually, did that some weeks ago) to add additional sources that may be appropriate for the episode. Mr. Lynch's archive has proven quite helpful along the way in the past few episodes.
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Marten
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 1:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bueller?
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Marten
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 1:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Professor Askew has provided two versions of the Episode 8 script to me. Smile
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Rils
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 2:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry, I totally missed that you had lost my original script. I think that was about the time the forum was acting up and I couldn't even log in for like a month. I can resend it to you if you'd like, or you can go ahead with Prof's versions.
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Marten
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 12:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Episode 8 script as last edited by Professor Askew is here:
Rils' Episode 8 Script, edited by Professor Askew

Rand and Dr. Watson's discussions overlap and that makes removing Rand from the episode a bit of a challenge. But, I think we'll have a better episode if I keep the focus on the DRC and don't intermingle the story with visitors from Cyan.
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Marten
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 1:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A further revised copy of Episode 8 is now here:

http://marten.treeweasel.com/Uru/EpisodeEightv2.doc

* Removed conversation involving Rand, except one reference by VereaTurus that needs to stay
* Reordered a few more lines of conversation so statements and replies are more easily followed (this has already been done to some extent... it just needs a bit more).
* Additional shortening of the script where possible (comments that don't really move the discussion along)

This was already a good script; it's now trimmed down to about 8 pages and that's a very good size.
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janaba1
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 23, 2007 2:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Something, I just felt by reading the script...

After those extraordinary episodes we've had before, this one
seems to be a bit dull...lol... Yeah, I believe, it will be quite
difficult to make this one appeal thrilling, cause it actually isn't...

I wonder, if it would be possible to shorten the given information
totally and to combine it with the next one, but as I've just read,
the 9th episode will be a long one, so no chance maybe...

The convo with Doug is somehow interesting, ok, but the one with
Dr. Watson is boring and without any useful information as the ones
we've experienced with the DRC in MOUL, IMO... /shrug

Also, seeing the given backgrounds of all the episodes as a whole,
there are too many reiterations of facts already shown and provided...

But with your talent, Marten, maybe you're able to make even this
story a thrilling treat for the eyes... Very Happy
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