The Great Tree Forum Index The Great Tree
still kickin'
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   Poster ListPoster List   Member ListMember List  UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 
 Links:   great tree   uru live   uru obsession   drc site  

 Documentaries:    learn the story of the great tree

Episode Eleven: The Fall of Phil Henderson
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    The Great Tree Forum Index -> The Story of The Great Tree
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
janaba1
Great Tree Member
Great Tree Member


Joined: 12 Sep 2006
Posts: 1639
Location: berlin, germany

PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 1:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

First of all, Erik, I had to smile, cause you're talking about this
11th episode, as if it would be released tomorrow or next week...lol...

I really hope very much, that at the time this whole production
will be completed, we'll be in the midst of an awesome 2nd Season!!! ... Very Happy

As of the suggested addition I have to agree with you, but I don't know,
if it's maybe a bit too late... Somehow it feels like a bit too much and on
the other hand I think it's not possible to remove the last sentence, this
one is very important and says a lot...

Just looked into the video and saw one empty line after the last "But in time, ..."
so maybe there, yes, as it conveys and triggers Something, renews The Call somehow...

To add it to Phil's picture... hmmm, think that'd be too much...

So, it would look like this

Quote:
Yet many questions remained
unanswered. What had become of
Phil’s body? Where was Dr.
Watson? What of the mysterious
Bahro, and Yeesha? The DRC
seemed determined to leave the
past behind them. But in time,
the answers to these questions…
and more… would be revealed...
The ending had not yet been written..
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Erik
Great Tree Member
Great Tree Member


Joined: 23 Sep 2006
Posts: 1121
Location: the Netherlands

PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 1:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Janaba wrote:
First of all, Erik, I had to smile, cause you're talking about this
11th episode, as if it would be released tomorrow or next week...lol...

And you are talking as if the second season is about to start tomorrow. Wink

I'm just trying to manage my expectations, to face the fact that it may take a while before we see anything new...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Durin Mephit
Great Tree Officer
Great Tree Officer


Joined: 29 Jan 2004
Posts: 3119
Location: Tigard, OR

PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 2:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here is a link to an Episode 11 script in progress. I would appreciate if someone would take ownership of it and clean it up.

http://marten.treeweasel.com/Uru/Episode11v1.doc
_________________
Durin Mephit * Member of Guild of Messengers - Unless otherwise stated, opinions are mine only and not Guild endorsed.
rel.to | Marten KI: 59474 | Durin M KI: 11883768
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Durin Mephit
Great Tree Officer
Great Tree Officer


Joined: 29 Jan 2004
Posts: 3119
Location: Tigard, OR

PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 1:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've concluded upon review that one of the proposed ending lines needs to be changed.

Quote:
The new year arrived. Inspired by Douglas Sharper, Kam called an all-explorers meeting in the ‘Kinjo no Surudoi’ neighborhood. At the end of that meeting, 'Kinjo' dissolved and 'The Great Tree' was born under the leadership of Brian Fioca.


I know we've joked around quite a bit about Brian being our "fearless leader", and Brian is certainly one of the key founders, if not considered the founder, of our group. He set up this forum, at his expense, for us. So what I'm about to say should not diminish his importance.

On January 25, 2004, a controversy broke out when an explorer mistakenly believed he was speaking to "the leader" of The Great Tree. (The person he interviewed was not Brian.) The unanimous response from then-members of The Great Tree was that the group had no real leader.

This controversy provided a crucible in which the Great Tree's stance was formulated.

So... it needs to be reworded. What does everyone think of this?
Quote:
The new year arrived. On January 10th, Kam called an all-explorers meeting in the ‘Kinjo no Surudoi’ neighborhood. At the end of that meeting, 'Kinjo' dissolved and 'The Great Tree' was born at the recommendation of Brian Fioca.


Peripherally related:

For anyone who has been curious about when The Great Tree officially became a public group, here is the record of that meeting:
http://www.uruobsession.com/forum/index.php?act=ST&f=35&t=5051
January 10th was our official anniversary as a public 'hood. Smile
_________________
Durin Mephit * Member of Guild of Messengers - Unless otherwise stated, opinions are mine only and not Guild endorsed.
rel.to | Marten KI: 59474 | Durin M KI: 11883768
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
janaba1
Great Tree Member
Great Tree Member


Joined: 12 Sep 2006
Posts: 1639
Location: berlin, germany

PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 2:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What a great reading... man, that was interesting... great, that you've
found that, Marten... Very Happy

As of the leadership Brian said this:
Quote:
(01/11 00:39:43) Torrim: were any leadership positions selected in my absense?
(01/11 00:39:5Cool Brian Fioca: we must all be leaders
(01/11 00:40:04) Torrim: Ok, thanks
(01/11 00:40:24) Torrim: I think that is better that we have no leaders yet, as we are one "whole"
(01/11 00:40:24) Anima_Caligo: This hood must be like Knights of the Round Table

Isn't that great!!! Razz

I also like, what Bri said afterwards on the forum:
bfioca wrote:
The conclusions are

1) We will continue to gather members using The Great Tree Neighborhood. The Great Tree is a symbol of D'ni.
We will use it as our symbol. We are D'ni. We have felt the call and taken the journey. We are all part of The Great Tree.

2) We will encourage the DRCs recent actions, and respectfully request some form of representation on the council.
To fight them right now would be to fight against progress, but we must make sure things continue to progress as they have been.

Thanks everyone who was there!
We always work best when we work together.

Spread the word.

Hey, that is history... awesome!!! Very Happy

The rewording sounds good and is correct like that... Smile
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Erik
Great Tree Member
Great Tree Member


Joined: 23 Sep 2006
Posts: 1121
Location: the Netherlands

PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 3:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think we need something stronger than recommendation, because recommendation could mean that Brian isn't affiliated with TGT, but only recommended people to form it.
Perhaps something with founder or something like initiated.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Durin Mephit
Great Tree Officer
Great Tree Officer


Joined: 29 Jan 2004
Posts: 3119
Location: Tigard, OR

PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 3:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

True. I agree 'recommendation' sounds weaker than I would like.

The best word I can use to describe Brian in situations like those from 2003... is catalyst. But that doesn't really fit into the documentary.
_________________
Durin Mephit * Member of Guild of Messengers - Unless otherwise stated, opinions are mine only and not Guild endorsed.
rel.to | Marten KI: 59474 | Durin M KI: 11883768
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
janaba1
Great Tree Member
Great Tree Member


Joined: 12 Sep 2006
Posts: 1639
Location: berlin, germany

PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 3:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I must admit, I don't like the word recommendation as well lol,
but couldn't think of a better one before... Razz

... TGT was born by initiation of Brian Fioca - or ... as initiated by BF

Is that a correct wording? /shrug... but sounds better though... no?... Very Happy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Durin Mephit
Great Tree Officer
Great Tree Officer


Joined: 29 Jan 2004
Posts: 3119
Location: Tigard, OR

PostPosted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 3:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The unfinished Episode 11 script, still requiring editing, is now here:

http://marten.treeweasel.com/Uru/scripts/Episode11v1.doc

Script editing rules are here: http://www.thegreattree.com/bbs/viewtopic.php?p=28400#28400

The ending text of the script will require some thought.
_________________
Durin Mephit * Member of Guild of Messengers - Unless otherwise stated, opinions are mine only and not Guild endorsed.
rel.to | Marten KI: 59474 | Durin M KI: 11883768
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Durin Mephit
Great Tree Officer
Great Tree Officer


Joined: 29 Jan 2004
Posts: 3119
Location: Tigard, OR

PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 1:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Upon review, I think the ending text still holds up well. The following text contains only minor edits.

Quote:

(Image of Kam in the city, alone)
Reluctantly, gradually, the explorers departed -- all but one. Kam Uraki remained in the city for as long as he could, clinging to hope of a sign from Phil, but in vain.

(Image of barricades)
In the following days, the DRC reported that their search of the rubble yielded no sign of Phil Henderson's body. All they could find was a broken KI. Citing safety concerns, the DRC disallowed access to the accident site, despite pleas from many explorers who felt the search efforts had not been complete.

(Image of Dr. Watson)
Dr. Watson, chairman of the council, vanished suddenly afterward. He left neither explanation nor indication of his whereabouts.

(Image of meeting)
The year 2004 arrived. On January 10th, Kam called an all-explorers meeting in the ‘Kinjo no Surudoi’ neighborhood. At the end of that meeting, ‘Kinjo’ dissolved and ‘The Great Tree’ was created by Brian Fioca.

The Great Tree proclaimed itself an open group dedicated to increased explorer involvement in the Restoration of D'ni. The new group called for a meeting to question the DRC, but received no response. Council activity had become unsettlingly still.

(Image of closing announcement, DRC site)
In late January came the reason for the DRC's quiet, in a somber announcement from the remaining members: Funding for the Restoration had been cancelled. They were leaving D'ni.

(Image from D'mala)
Most explorers sorrowfully followed. For two years, the Cavern's near-silence was broken only by small bands of explorers who ventured back and stayed, hoping that one day the city would come alive again.

(Image of Cate Alexander at meeting)
Then, in late 2005, new word came from the DRC. They had found a new source of funding through a woman named Cate Alexander, and were returning to the Restoration. Explorers new and old began to feel the Call once more.

(No picture)
Yet many questions remained unanswered. What had become of Phil’s body? Where was Dr. Watson? What of the mysterious Bahro, and Yeesha? The DRC seemed determined to leave the past behind them. But in time, the answers to these questions… and more… would be revealed.

(Image of Phil and Bahro standing together)

_________________
Durin Mephit * Member of Guild of Messengers - Unless otherwise stated, opinions are mine only and not Guild endorsed.
rel.to | Marten KI: 59474 | Durin M KI: 11883768
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Zardoz
Explorer
Explorer


Joined: 27 Jan 2004
Posts: 38
Location: On the bluff

PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 10:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
(Image of Cate Alexander at meeting)
Then, in late 2005, new word came from the DRC. They had found a new source of funding through a woman named Cate Alexander, and were returning to the Restoration. Explorers new and old began to feel the Call once more.

Blake Lewin was the first person introduced as a funder, and that was in early 2006. The first mention was in the DRC Forum here. Cate Alexander introduced herself in early 2007, as noted here.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Durin Mephit
Great Tree Officer
Great Tree Officer


Joined: 29 Jan 2004
Posts: 3119
Location: Tigard, OR

PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 1:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Corrections like this are definitely helpful. What would be even /more/ helpful, though, would be if you could express the corrected information in a form compact and as usable as the original not-as-accurate summary.
_________________
Durin Mephit * Member of Guild of Messengers - Unless otherwise stated, opinions are mine only and not Guild endorsed.
rel.to | Marten KI: 59474 | Durin M KI: 11883768
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Zardoz
Explorer
Explorer


Joined: 27 Jan 2004
Posts: 38
Location: On the bluff

PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 3:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
(Montage of DRC members)
Then, in early 2006, new word came from the DRC. They had found a new source of funding and were returning to the Restoration. Explorers new and old began to feel the Call once more.


I would not include Cate Alexander, as that gets you solidly into Uru Redux.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Durin Mephit
Great Tree Officer
Great Tree Officer


Joined: 29 Jan 2004
Posts: 3119
Location: Tigard, OR

PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That sounds like a solid and excellent suggestion.
_________________
Durin Mephit * Member of Guild of Messengers - Unless otherwise stated, opinions are mine only and not Guild endorsed.
rel.to | Marten KI: 59474 | Durin M KI: 11883768
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Durin Mephit
Great Tree Officer
Great Tree Officer


Joined: 29 Jan 2004
Posts: 3119
Location: Tigard, OR

PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 5:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://marten.treeweasel.com/Uru/scripts/Episode11v2.doc

Could use some shortening. Hard to tell where to cut, though.
_________________
Durin Mephit * Member of Guild of Messengers - Unless otherwise stated, opinions are mine only and not Guild endorsed.
rel.to | Marten KI: 59474 | Durin M KI: 11883768
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    The Great Tree Forum Index -> The Story of The Great Tree All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next
Page 2 of 3

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum



RescueTime
Offering Time Management Software for Individuals &
Employee Time Tracking Software for Businesses