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Episode Ten: Resistance and Consequence
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Marten
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 1:08 pm    Post subject: Episode Ten: Resistance and Consequence Reply with quote

Proposed title - Episode Ten: Resistance and Consequence
December 22, 2003 11:59 AM Uru Obsession Sit-In; GT begins to form
December 22, 2003 6:37 PM Sharper penalized; Path of the Shell
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Marten
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 1:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A preliminary script is here:

http://marten.treeweasel.com/Uru/Episode10v1.doc

Presently the script stands at 15 pages. I would like to see a trimmed down version around half of that size, and definitely not longer than 10 pages.

Would anyone like to take ownership of this task?
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Marten
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 3:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The unfinished Episode 10 script, still requiring editing, is now here:

http://marten.treeweasel.com/Uru/scripts/Episode10v1.doc

Script editing rules are here: http://www.thegreattree.com/bbs/viewtopic.php?p=28400#28400
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Marten
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 7:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Episode 10 script is almost ready. I sat on the last draft that Erik sent to me for nearly a month, but I have finally made some edits I wanted, and I sent it back to him for another look now.
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Marten
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 27, 2010 12:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The episode 10 script is now ready for translations.

http://rel.to/marten/scripts/Episode10v4final.doc
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Zardoz
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 9:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Douglas Sharper
If anyone happens to see this Zardoz, tell him thank you.
Thank him for contributing to the removal of my pub, the private rooms, and my neighborhood. I won't forget.


Shocked

You know, no one has ever thanked me . . .

Crying or Very sad
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Erik
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 1:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aww... well, at least Douglas said he would never forget you. That's something. Razz
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janaba1
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 3:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I finally started with the translation... Very Happy

I hope, you're not in a hurry, Marten, but I'll be ready soon ...
Have to sleep now though lol... /waves... Razz
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Erik
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 3:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can't believe nobody noticed it until now, but there's still an error in the script!
Quote:
Douglas Sharper had opened two previously closed areas of Ae’gura: the Kahlo Pub in Ae’gura, and the private rooms in his Neighborhood.

Two areas in Ae'gura? Since when are the private rooms located in Ae'gura? Razz

I propose the following:
Quote:
Douglas Sharper had opened two previously closed areas of D'ni: the Kahlo Pub in Ae’gura, and the private rooms in his Neighborhood.
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Marten
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 1:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good catch, Erik. And it should be an easy substitution.

Oh, and Jana, I am not in a hurry. Cool
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janaba1
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 2:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, Erik, great catch... somebody has to watch out for
such discrepancies... I have to admit I don't lol... Thanks... Razz

Thanks for the relaxing remark, Marten... I proofread the script today
and sent it to your mailbox along with a few corrections on Episode 9... Very Happy

Edit: I almost forgot to mention that I've used the informal address
through the whole script... only in one place I felt a bit unsure, when
Jean says "He is here! Welcome, Mr. Sharper!", but as she didn't address
him directly further on I decided to go on with the informal translation of
"you"... So, please correct me where I could be wrong, then I'd correct it
immediately and send the new script to you... Smile
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Marten
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 2:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

At this point in the story, informal is probably just fine.
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Erik
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 10, 2010 4:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would translate everything in this script informally as well. Smile
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Erik
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 1:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Dutch translation is done!

I racked my brian to find a good translation for Zandi's riddle that preserved the rhyme, but I finally found a good one. It isn't a literal translation, but I consider the rhyme more important, otherwise it just doesn't sound right. If one translates the Dutch translation back to English, one would get, "gathered in all tongues will tell the Path of the Shell". So the meaning hasn't been altered, I just added a little bit about the diversity of the community, which allowed me to make a perfectly sounding translation! Smile
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Marten
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 2:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zandi's clue is also the 15th line of the 5th Book of the Watcher's Words. So, for the languages supported by "The Path of the Shell", there should already be a precedent on how this should be said.

And I put my trust in Erik with his choice for the Dutch translation. Smile
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