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Episode Six - "Conversations with Laxman"
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Rils
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 5:49 pm    Post subject: Episode Six - "Conversations with Laxman" Reply with quote

Ok, so I've got a draft of the script ready. I have two problems though -

1) I don't have a place online to upload the .doc, can I email it to someone to post?

2) Trimmed down and condensed as far as I can without removing significant chunks of the conversation, the thing is almost 15 pages long!

I remember at one point someone saying that we should try and keep scripts to about 10 pages. I've cut out most of the extraneous comments, but these were intense conversations and there is just way too much good material here! If someone can help me post it, I would much appreciate you all looking it over and seeing what we can remove.
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Marten
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 6:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks to Rils, Episode 6 is now available for review. We do need to try to crunch it down if at all possible.

http://marten.treeweasel.com/Uru/Episode_6.doc
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Rils
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 6:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Definetly need to edit it down. I'm just not sure what's important to keep and what's worth removing! It's already edited down to about half it's original length, any more and we start taking out good information. Thoughts?
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Marten
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 2:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This episode script needs to be cut in half again, from 14 pages down to 7. Who feels up to the challenge? Smile

Ground rules:
1. You can trim what people say, but don't change or reword it.
2. Please don't take one person's words and put them into the mouth of another.
3. Editing unintentional grammar/spelling (then/than, their/they're/there) is OK.
4. You may combine lines such as these, if it makes sense:

Original
Person A: Roses are red.
Person B: Yeah...
Person A: Violets are blue.
Person B: Mmmhm.

Merged
Person A: Roses are red. Violets are blue.
Person B: Yeah... Mmmhmm.
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Marten
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 11:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm trying to trim the episode. It's not easy! As Rils said: There's a lot of good information here.

I definitely want to cover this episode because, although some parts are tangental to the story, it will answer a lot of questions explorers have about The Great Zero.

Storywise, the negative attitude Victor has for the UO hood is classic Smile
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Marten
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 1:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've managed to trim the episode down to 11 pages. Also, sometimes I removed lines from Rils' version and added in other lines that had been removed, just to cut down on the number of unique persons with speaking parts in the episode - something which is vital to make filming manageable.

This version is still quite long. It is ready for translation... but I do not expect the translations to be done very quickly due to the length. Also, this time I'm not trying to modify the script after filming, so there is no need to hurry on the translations. If you need 2 or 3 weeks... that is fine.

http://marten.treeweasel.com/Uru/Episode_6_r2.doc

Filming for Episode 6 will take place on Saturday, August 4, beginning at 10AM Cavern Time (9 AM Pacific). All filming for this episode will take place in the Great Tree Bevin. Translators, if you translated my notice at the end of the Episode 5 announcement about participation in Episodes 6 and 7, you can let interested parties know when and where. It would help greatly if interested international persons have a basic understanding of English; I need participants to understand a very few instructions, like these:
* Stand exactly where I am standing
* Do not move from that spot until asked
* Walk up the steps and join the others
* Hold the TAB key for 3 seconds

PS: Thank you to all of the translators for the corrections submitted for revising Episodes 0 through 4. I am still working on incorporating all of your improvements.
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Moiety Jean
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 2:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

::notes on calendar::
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Annick
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 5:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello Very Happy

I have some problem with this line :
Quote:

Brian Fioca: The DRC will come around. The more of us there are to spread the message, the more they will listen.

For : the DRC come around :

Does it mean : The DRC will come here or the DRC will change his opinion.

And this line :

Quote:
There are many new visitors today. We must speak with them. Get to them before the DRC

For : Get to them before the DRC

Does it mean : contact them

Thanks for your help Wink
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janaba1
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 9:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Marten wrote:
Translators, if you translated my notice at the end of the Episode 5 announcement about participation in Episodes 6 and 7,
you can let interested parties know when and where
Done Mr. Green
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Rils
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 12:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for doing the translation Annick! let me see if I can help...

Annick wrote:
I have some problem with this line :
Quote:

Brian Fioca: The DRC will come around. The more of us there are to spread the message, the more they will listen.

For : the DRC come around :

Does it mean : The DRC will come here or the DRC will change his opinion.


It's more the sense of the latter - the DRC will change its opinion. The context is that the DRC thinks one way now, but through persuasion or circumstance, they will "come around to" or "align with" our way of thinking.

Quote:
And this line :

Quote:
There are many new visitors today. We must speak with them. Get to them before the DRC

For : Get to them before the DRC

Does it mean : contact them


Yes. "we must speak with them" is connected to "get to them". We need to speak to the new explorers before the DRC speaks to them; we need to talk to the them first so the DRC doesn't give them false information. Find the new explorers before the DRC finds them.

Hope that helps!
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Marten
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 12:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shorah, Annick. Good questions.

Annick wrote:
For : the DRC come around :

Does it mean : The DRC will come here or the DRC will change his opinion.

In this context, it means that the DRC will change their opinion.

Quote:
For : Get to them before the DRC

Does it mean : contact them

This is a difficult phrase to translate; literally it does mean "contact them" but there is an implied meaning to educate the new explorers (and try to win their support) before the DRC had any opportunity. Perhaps this was not fair, but nothing is fair in a propaganda war. Wink

Edit I see Rils responded just before I did. Smile
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Annick
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 4:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

@Marten and Rils

Thank you very much Very Happy
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Annick
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 3:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Always me . Smile

I have problems with a few lines : Embarassed

Quote:
A Least cry?

"Least" with a capital letter

Quote:
I'm not much of a soul searcher, I'm afraid. Give me a wrench, some bottled lightning. That's all the philosophy I need.

"some bottled lightning", what is it exactly ?

Quote:
The events of the next few days would show exactly how far the DRC was willing to go in quieting Phil’s message.

Can you clarify the sense of "was willing to go in quieting Phil’s message"


Sorry for my questions Embarassed

Thanks for your help Smile
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Cycreim
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 4:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My French is kind of rusty, so forgive my mistakes, but let's see if I can use some translated examples.

Least with a capital letter is another word for the Bahro in this case. I don't know how you would translate the Least in this way (le Moindre?). I think they're saying "Un cri de Bahro?"

Some bottled lightning.... I don't know how you would translate that. It's a bit of a strange idiom and I personally don't really get it... maybe someone else could clarify this one.

As for "The events of the next few days would show exactly how far the DRC was willing to go in quieting Phil’s message." I think it could be translated something like:

Les evenements des prochains jours démontreraient a quel point la DRC voudrait étteindre (bloquer?) le message de Phil.
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Last edited by Cycreim on Fri Aug 03, 2007 4:20 am; edited 1 time in total
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Erik
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 4:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A Least cry ... that's a cry from a Bahro.
I'm not sure about the bottled lightning, perhaps it's a strong beer? Razz

And about the last one...
I believe it means something like: "In the next days you could see what the DRC did to 'undermine' Phil's message". The DRC tried to stop people from talking about Phil.

Hope that helps. Smile

EDIT: Cycreim beat me. Razz
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