The Great Tree

Saxy · Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:20 am Post subject:

Douglas Sharper fact #5

Douglas Sharper survives on three hours of sleep per week. The last time Sharper got twelve hours of sleep in a week, he climbed Mt. Everest in a half hour with his increased agility and endurance.
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Not all who wander are lost... (MJ fixed my sig!)
KI: 38931

brian · Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:29 am Post subject:

Douglas Sharper brushes his teeth with a meat cleaver and rock salt.
_________________
#Brian Fioca
#KI: 11882331
#KI: 1504111 [disconnected]

Saxy · Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:29 am Post subject:

Douglas Sharper fact #7

Sharper received his PhD in Ass-Kicking at the age of nine.
_________________

Not all who wander are lost... (MJ fixed my sig!)
KI: 38931

brian · Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:30 am Post subject:

He once mistook a electric chair for a massage chair. Afterward he said he never felt more relaxed.
_________________
#Brian Fioca
#KI: 11882331
#KI: 1504111 [disconnected]

Saxy · Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:35 am Post subject:

Douglas Sharper fact #9

Douglas Sharper commutes to work every morning by hopping onto the hoods of moving cars until he reaches his destination.
_________________

Not all who wander are lost... (MJ fixed my sig!)
KI: 38931

brian · Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:35 am Post subject:

He sometimes drives an icecream truck covered in human skulls.
_________________
#Brian Fioca
#KI: 11882331
#KI: 1504111 [disconnected]

brian · Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:39 am Post subject:

When Sharper was born, his mother sold him to a family of nomadic fire-eaters.
_________________
#Brian Fioca
#KI: 11882331
#KI: 1504111 [disconnected]

Saxy · Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:40 am Post subject:

Douglas Sharper fact #12

Hitler didn't die because of suicide. Hitler died because of Douglas Sharper.
_________________

Not all who wander are lost... (MJ fixed my sig!)
KI: 38931

brian · Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:41 am Post subject:

Sharper's first kiss killed 17 and injured 52.
_________________
#Brian Fioca
#KI: 11882331
#KI: 1504111 [disconnected]

brian · Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:42 am Post subject:

Sharper's earwax is an ingredient in plastic explosives.
_________________
#Brian Fioca
#KI: 11882331
#KI: 1504111 [disconnected]

Saxy · Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:43 am Post subject:

Douglas Sharper fact #15

After Sharper drools at night while he sleeps, he creates the 23rd largest lake in the United States. Every morning the townspeople have to wet-vacuum his lake of drool.
_________________

Not all who wander are lost... (MJ fixed my sig!)
KI: 38931

brian · Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:45 am Post subject:

Douglas Sharper's family tree is infested with rabid owls.
_________________
#Brian Fioca
#KI: 11882331
#KI: 1504111 [disconnected]

brian · Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:46 am Post subject:

He always carries a handbag full of yeti fur.
_________________
#Brian Fioca
#KI: 11882331
#KI: 1504111 [disconnected]

Saxy · Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:49 am Post subject:

Douglas Sharper fact #18

Sharper celebrates Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa.
_________________

Not all who wander are lost... (MJ fixed my sig!)
KI: 38931

Saxy · Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:51 am Post subject:

Douglas Sharper fact #19

Douglas Sharper doesn't have to pay taxes. He sends a photo of his goatee to the IRS and they back off.
_________________

Not all who wander are lost... (MJ fixed my sig!)
KI: 38931