The Great Tree

Moiety Jean · Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 1:36 pm Post subject:

Oh, yeah, I was presuming that at least the opening of this scene could be filmed on TGT shard.

If we could get just four people, Phil, Brian, Sharper, and Dusante, arranged in a circle, it'd work for that shot. More people could step in later if you filmed subsequent shots in D'mala...

I don't know. If we have to drop the shot, so be it.

I'm really frustrated that I can't help with filming.
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~Moiety Jean

KI#44727
"There is a certain beautiful danger when a group of geeks get together to entertain themselves." ~Orin Drake

Rils · Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 2:01 pm Post subject:

Nice work MJ. I think the tense thing works out. You present the background in past tense, which is appropriate. When the conversations start, it automatically switches to present, because the event takes place in real time. The conversations are occurring as you watch them, not "Phil said... Sharper said..." Phil and Sharper as saying. That makes it present.

Let's role with it!

~Rils
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Professor Askew · Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 2:23 pm Post subject:

Jean, you and I share an interest in doing some filming of our own but we've settled into a groove where Marten has taken over most of the photography. However, there's a lot to be filmed still! I suggest you and I get the scripts for Eps 4 & 5 out of the way and it will buy us some time to do our homework and perhaps do some filming of later episodes. I'm sure Marten would appreciate the break at that point.
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Professor Daniel Askew - Securing our reality from the machinations of the Station Masters.

Moiety Jean · Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 2:27 pm Post subject:

Sounds good.
_________________
~Moiety Jean

KI#44727
"There is a certain beautiful danger when a group of geeks get together to entertain themselves." ~Orin Drake

Durin Mephit · Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 3:44 pm Post subject:

Woohoo!

/cheer

Smile

And as for filming on the GT shard... that will be fine if you can gather the necessary folks on for the shot, arrange a time where we can all be there. I can play any role. I just don't want to be the cat herder anymore!
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Durin Mephit * Member of Guild of Messengers - Unless otherwise stated, opinions are mine only and not Guild endorsed.
rel.to | Marten KI: 59474 | Durin M KI: 11883768

Professor Askew · Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 4:24 pm Post subject:

Where oh where is our Production Manager?
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Professor Daniel Askew - Securing our reality from the machinations of the Station Masters.

Durin Mephit · Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 12:30 am Post subject:

I wish we could all gather in a room together and discuss these things. It would go over much more easily that way.

I really like the way this script is presented. Also, I appreciate that this script is more detailed than previous scripts on the specific locations where things should be filmed, and where people should walk. That is very helpful!

I have some very strong feelings about not letting anyone accuse us of "fictionalizing" these events, and I'm a little concerned about that in this script. (I'll explain below). I'm also setting some ground rules which I've defined here ( http://www.thegreattree.com/bbs/viewtopic.php?t=998&start=45 ) which I'd like to see this script adhere to, where possible.

Here are my comments:

I'm having trouble following what happens on what day in this script. I'm very pro-"give the date every time you change the date". I am less fond of "Four days later". This is a matter of preference, but I'd also like to be consistent in presentation through all episodes.

Of greater concern, I'm seeing things in this script that do not, as far as I understand, match up with the chat logs on how events occurred. This happens in two places.

The first place is where the script says that Phil is "glowing", but I don't remember reading about that anywhere. Also, it says "As before, Phil seemed to be “teleporting” erratically within the Age." ? What I'd like to know is: "When before?" I don't have any knowledge of him having teleported erratically when he met Zardoz, and Episode Two's coverage of Phil and Terra also does not cover this behavior. For continuity's sake, we cannot pretend that we've told the viewer about this behavior previously if we haven't really mentioned it at all.

The second place is where according to the original chat log, Phil did not find the entire DRC waiting for him. His conversation was with Laxman, and Laxman alone. He fled just before all other members of the DRC arrived. This script portrays Phil cornered by all of the DRC except Watson, and fleeing as Watson arrives. While that change does make for a more dramatic scene, I'd rather we keep these Episodes dead-on how it really happened.

Other notes:

* As I am the person doing the editing, I'd appreciate if I don't have to worry about creating emotes that don't exist in the game, like the praying emote. It's a cute idea, but seems too challenging for me at the moment.

* In Episode Two, we've got multiple events occuring in simply "Bevin" neighborhoods, whlie this script specifically calls for using different neighborhoods with different lights and features. Can someone identify which hoods have the features we want on D'mala or on TGT Shard? I'm not certain we have much control over this. Also, I'd prefer if the script would tell me which neighborhood each event actually took place in. This may require some detective work (contact people who were there, see if they know).

* Most importantly, this script has to shrink more. A 10 page script clocks in at 16 minutes. I do not want to see what a 15+ page script delivers.

I'm going to step back to Episode 2 now. It needs to be rewritten, so the November 28 scene can go back there, and that will simplify the setup of this episode.
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Durin Mephit * Member of Guild of Messengers - Unless otherwise stated, opinions are mine only and not Guild endorsed.
rel.to | Marten KI: 59474 | Durin M KI: 11883768

Moiety Jean · Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 3:08 am Post subject:

Before I finish reading entirely, I need to defend the point that I have never added anything simply because it was more dramatic. I can't help feeling pretty offended, since I studied chat logs very very carefully, scripted the events according to what I garnered from the logs, and consulted with Brian for his recollections as to what was going on visually during the events. If I got something wrong, it wasn't intentional. I wasn't pretending anything, I simply got an impression from something I read, and I've worked very hard to make this script as accurate as I could, while still allowing it a natural flow.

Ok, here are my responses to your comments.. I apologize for the somewhat random order.

I may have misinterpreted Phil's "I have something to tell you. All of you. Where is Dr. Watson?" line and Laxman's "We'll get Dr. Watson." to mean that Phil linked in and saw nearly all the DRC. We can change that if it is wrong. I hope it is wrong, that could make filming simpler.

I was asking if we could use the "thank you" emote, if it still exists as I remember it, with perhaps a tiny pause to lengthen it. That's all. I have kept you very much in consideration all through writing to try to avoid overburdening you. The pause could even be scrapped. I am just keen for excuses to use other available emotes to keep the visuals interesting because the chat emote is unfortunately very patterned and gets distracting over the extensive use we must make of it.

Could my script seem overly long because of the added direction and notes? A readthrough of just the dialogue took about six minutes. Most lines are fairly short and do not need to appear on screen very long at all.

I got Phil's glowing from these lines:
"MrM3FaN: Also, Phil didn't look normal to me when I met him in Kemo.
Jaden: What did he look like?
MrM3FaN: It was as if there was a glow around him."

I don't right now feel up to searching through the chat logs I read to determine where I connected Phil's current "teleportation" to previous events, but it at least happens in the script where he meets MrM3Fan, so I can remove "as before" if necessary. I must have drawn it together with one of the instances of Phil's erratic KI signal.

I'm not sure I understand why November 28th's scene has to go in Episode 2. If you have already filmed some footage for it, can't it be used in this episode?

After I hear back from you I'll start making the necessary changes to this episode.

I'd also like to mention again that my UU installation might be having fewer problems right now, so if you need a role, let me know and I will try creating an avatar for it and joining you for filming.
Since I very rarely even visit the other forums anymore (the forums I have ever visited were uruobsession, drcsite, thegreattree, and urulive forums -the latter for which I am not registered), I am not the best publicist for filming and I fear I'd be pretty bad at coordinating filming times. I wish that someone else could fill that role, but I do want to see this project through, so if it comes to it, I will help with that aspect.

I will also add a note in this script the players who speak in the script, since I already noted the explorers who spoke in the chat log. Should help make it easier to decide which explorers should actually be seen in the film.
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~Moiety Jean

KI#44727
"There is a certain beautiful danger when a group of geeks get together to entertain themselves." ~Orin Drake

brian · Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 3:24 am Post subject:

Durin Mephit · Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 1:39 pm Post subject:

I'd like to preface this by first saying I understand that you've put a lot of work into this already, Jean - and mindful of Brian's comments, I'm sorry that I made comments that were not stated as professionally as they should have been.

I am not trying to accuse you of fictionalizing. What I'm saying is that we must be careful so that others can't accuse us of fictionalizing. Each of us read the same chat logs and visualized certain things differently, that tells me that we need to look over these scenes more carefully and come to a consensus.

Your reading of Laxman and Phil gave you the impression that Phil was cornered by the DRC. My reading was that he only spoke to Laxman. (And here I must apologize profusely. I did not word that as clearly in my original message, and I erroneously stated as fact several points which are instead merely my opinions.)

Rils · Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 3:20 pm Post subject:

I've seen MrM3FaN on the UL boards, try PMing him there...
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Durin Mephit · Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 4:00 pm Post subject:

Rils: You're right, he IS back! Excellent! *rubs hands together gleefully*
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Durin Mephit * Member of Guild of Messengers - Unless otherwise stated, opinions are mine only and not Guild endorsed.
rel.to | Marten KI: 59474 | Durin M KI: 11883768

Rils · Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 6:05 pm Post subject:

that should make yer life a little easier... Wink

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Tweek · Friend of The Great Tree Joined: 23 Jun 2004 Posts: 134

Mr Tweek reporting for duty, not sure when I appear in your episodes but I would be happy to play the role of Tweek, the plucky evil designer with an invisible talking monkey.

Just drop me a note when you need me, if you need me.
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Grey Skies | Beneath

Professor Askew · Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 4:29 pm Post subject:

That's faboo, Mr. Tweek, we will certainly be requiring your assistance. I noticed your name came up quite a bit as I was assembling the Episode Five script as well. Weren't you just the man about town?
_________________
Professor Daniel Askew - Securing our reality from the machinations of the Station Masters.